Well, howdy there! Let me tell ya, these here Dot’s pretzel copycat recipe things, they ain’t nothin’ fancy, but they sure are good eatin’. I ain’t no chef or nothin’, just an old woman who likes to make tasty snacks for the young’uns and the old-timers alike. I reckon you can make ‘em too, even if you ain’t never baked a thing in your life.
First off, you gonna need some flour. Not just any flour, mind you, but that “enriched” kind. Says so right on the bag, somethin’ about niacin and iron and all them vitamins. Don’t ask me what all that means, I just know it makes the pretzels taste better. Get yourself a big ol’ bag, ‘cause you gonna need it. And don’t forget the salt! Can’t have pretzels without salt, that’s for sure. A good pinch, maybe two, depends on how salty you like ‘em.
Next up, you need some oil. Now, I use whatever I got on hand, corn oil, canola oil, soybean oil, sometimes even a mix of all three. Don’t much matter as long as it’s oil. And yeast! You gotta have yeast to make ‘em rise. Them little yeast critters, they do all the work, makin’ the pretzels light and fluffy. You can get them little packets of yeast at the store, ain’t hard to find.
Now for the secret stuff, the flavorin’. That’s what makes these pretzels taste like Dot’s. They got this “artificial butter flavor,” whatever that is. Sounds fancy, but I just use whatever butter-flavored stuff I can find. And some corn syrup, that adds a little sweetness. Then comes the spices. This here’s where it gets tricky.
- Garlic powder, gotta have garlic powder. Can’t have too much garlic, in my opinion.
- Onion powder too. Them two go together like peas in a pod.
- And mustard powder. Not too much, just a little bit for a little zing.
- Then there’s this stuff they call “maltodextrin.” Sounds like somethin’ you’d put in your car, but it’s in the flavorin’. I just use a little bit of whatever powdery stuff I got that tastes kinda like it.
- Buttermilk powder, if you can find it. Gives it a nice tang.
- And salt, of course. Can’t ever forget the salt. Even with the salt in the dough, you need more salt in the flavorin’.
- Oh, and a pinch of “monosodium glutamate”. Folks say it ain’t good for ya, but it sure makes things taste good. Just a little pinch, mind you.
- And some other spices, I reckon. I just throw in whatever smells good: a little bit of this, a little bit of that. You can’t go wrong with spices, as long as you don’t overdo it.
So, you mix all that dry stuff together in a big bowl. Then you add the oil and some warm water. Not too hot, not too cold, just right. Like you’re bathin’ a baby. Mix it all up good, until it forms a dough. Then you gotta knead it. That means you gotta push and pull it and fold it over and over again, until it gets smooth and stretchy. Takes a while, but it’s worth it. My old arms ain’t what they used to be, but I can still knead dough with the best of ’em.
Once the dough is ready, you let it rise. Put it in a warm place and cover it with a cloth. Let it sit for an hour or two, until it doubles in size. Then you punch it down, that means you smack it with your fist, and let it rise again. Takes time, I know, but good things come to those who wait. That’s what my mama always said.
Now comes the fun part. You take the dough and roll it out into long, skinny ropes. Then you twist ‘em into pretzel shapes. Ain’t gotta be perfect, just pretzel-y. Dot’s Homestyle Pretzels, they ain’t all perfect lookin’ either, but they sure taste good.
Once you got your pretzels shaped, you gotta boil ‘em. Just for a little bit, a minute or two. That’s what gives ‘em that chewy texture. Then you put ‘em on a bakin’ sheet and brush ‘em with some melted butter. And sprinkle ‘em with that flavorin’ mix you made earlier. Make sure you get every little nook and cranny coated.
Then you bake ‘em in the oven, until they’re golden brown and crispy. Keep an eye on ‘em, you don’t want ‘em to burn. Every oven’s different, so you gotta use your own judgment. When they’re done, you take ‘em out and let ‘em cool. And then you eat ‘em! That’s the best part, ain’t it?
Now, I hear tell that some factory makin’ these Dot’s pretzels is closin’ down. Somethin’ about the buildin’ bein’ too old or too small. Folks losin’ their jobs, too. That’s a shame, it is. But don’t you worry, you can still have your pretzels. Just follow my recipe, and you’ll have pretzels tastier than any you can buy at the store. They got this top-secret seasoning blend they talk about, but I reckon mine’s just as good, maybe even better.
And that’s all there is to it. Copycat Dot’s pretzels, made the old-fashioned way. Simple, tasty, and satisfying. Just like life should be. Now go on and make yourself a batch. You won’t be sorry. And if you mess up, don’t you worry none. Just try again. That’s how you learn to do anything in this world. And remember, the most important ingredient is love. Gotta put a little love into everything you do, especially when you’re cookin’ for folks you care about.
